Tuesday, February 20, 2007

You Might Be A Teacher If ... (taken from an email)

1. You believe the playground should be equipped with a Ritalin salt lick.


2. You want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to work
8 to 3:30 and have summers free."


3. You can tell if it's a full moon without looking outside.


4. You believe "shallow gene pool" should have its own checkbox on a report card.


5. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today."


6. When out in public you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior.


7. You have no social life between August and June.


8. Marking all A's on report cards would make your life SO easy.


9. You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.


10. You wonder how some parents ever MANAGED to reproduce.


11. You laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as the "lounge."


12. You encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or home schooling.


13. You can't have children because there's no name you could give a child that wouldn't bring on high blood pressure the moment you heard it.


14. You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.


15. You know you are in for a major project when a parent says, "I have a great idea I'd like to discuss. I think it would be such fun."


16. Whenever you hear a bell, you have a sudden urge to pee.


17. You can eat a four course meal in 10 minutes with time to spare.


18. Meeting a child's parent instantly answers the question, "Why is this kid like this?"

7 comments:

East Coast Teacher said...

A-freakin'-men!

Oh, and really, for anyone to think that we actually HAVE vacations - you know, the types where we don't have ANY work to do - is so untrue.

At least for those of us wanting oh-so-badly to be done with grad school already.

rookie teacher said...

Unfortunately people will never truly know how it is to be a teacher unless they've been through it.

And I hear ya about the grad school situation!

Mister Teacher said...

Yep, that just about nails it. And when I see the parents' behavior, it's very difficult to wonder about why the children behave the way they do...

rookie teacher said...

Oh yeah ... the parents are a dead give-away.

Arctic Fox said...

How true...how true!!!!

Love the Ritalin salt lick and intravenous caffeine! I sent this to some teacher friends and they loved it too!

the anonymous teacher said...

I sent this to all my teacher friends. I'm just going to join the AMEN-chorus!

rookie teacher said...

arctic fox - This list should be given to all teachers once they graduate teachers college so our rose-coloured glasses aren't too pink.

anon teacher - LOL ... it never fails that I laugh when I read this list. Glad you and your friends liked it!