Man today was a shitty day if I do say so myself. Nevermind the fact that I'm dealing with some personal shit at the moment, but then I have to have a parent go and complain about me to the vice-principal. This has never happened before and even though I still stood by my actions, I have to say that I was extremely nervous to talk to the VP and parent about it.
First things first ... the fact that this parent decided to go directly to the VP instead of talking to me first is FUCKED UP!
Background on the scenario:
I gave a test and announced to the class that it's time to hand them all in. The kids desks are separated and everyone is quiet so I know that everyone heard me especially since I've come into the habit of repeating myself at least 3 times in a row so that I am CERTAIN that everyone has "heard" me. There were only a few kids left with the test and I figured that they all had handed them in. So then I had them put their desks back together ... this was followed by a chaotic 15 minute indoor recess because apparently we now live in the North Pole ... followed by snack. AFTER all of this chaos ... a student comes up to me and hands me her test. We'll call her Testy from now on.
"Here's my test."
"You still had your test all this time???? Why didn't you hand it in when I asked everyone who still had their test to hand it in?"
"I didn't hear you."
"But it was quiet! There was no noise! How could you not hear me???"
She shrugs. God I love when a kid shrugs and mimes "I don't know".
"Well I can't accept this. How do I know that you weren't talking to your friends about this? Or that you didn't look back on your homework to help you with it?"
Silence.
And then I did something that I completely regret and wish I could take back if I had the power to turn back time ... I ripped up her test (I swear I'm cringeing right now just writing that down).
I know! I know! I'm a bitch! I lost it and I shouldn't have done that.
The end of the day was almost here so I had to get these kids all ready for home. So that was what happened yesterday.
Fast-forward to today.
The secretary comes to me with one of those pink-slips used for taking messages and says that there's a frantic message from Testy's mom about teste. Here I'm thinking the worst. I see that Testy is not in the classroom so immediately I start to think that maybe something awful has happened.
Then I think .... what could the mom possibly have to be frantic about? Then I remembered. Ah. Facing music will commence now.
So mom drops off Testy (who I see making a ripping motion with her hands as she's trying to tell a friend that her mom is here to get me in shit - this made me livid as well ... all I'm thinking is that this little 6 year old is trying to get me into trouble??). Mom goes to talk to the VP who then comes into my room and asks what happened. I explain to her the story and she replies ok well call the mom and talk to her about it (thank the Lord I have admin who actually support their teachers and don't make them look like a fool/idiot in front of the parents even if they did something wrong).
Recess comes and I call the mom. She begins to yell/talk loudly/not let me get a word in edgewise.
Her argument:
They are practically in kindergarten. She didn't give you the test because she didn't hear you (nevermind the fact that the room was not only quiet, but that I repeated myself three times). You should've given her a warning.
My argument:
I needed to prove a point. These rules have not only been set in place since September, but they have been reviewed (and continue to be) on a daily basis. They are not in kindergarten. There are certain rules that they need to follow. This isn't the first test that they've had this year so they know the rules and procedures (especially since we review them before every test I give them). I am preparing them for the older grades in terms of appropriate behaviour during tests, when the teacher is talking etc.
Verdict:
In the end mom was ok with what I had to say. Did this help me for the rest of the day? Hell no ... I was on edge all day long.
Thanks Testy's mom!
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8 comments:
You should have taken something from Testy's mother and ripped it up as well...
I get nervous talking to administrators and parents too... especially angry parents.
Bloody hell - - you mean the grass isn't greener in provincial schools?! Shiza...
Gah -- angry parents. I haven't had any this year, but my first two years of teaching, I encountered a couple of parents who regularly drank hater-ade and came at me with a lot of anger but no real purpose. What can you do?
Administration that supports you...wow. I like that concept...
I'm so glad you stood your ground whether or not you regret the situation. Thumbs up!
Mister Teacher - You. Rock.
Missmteach - I'd rather get my eyes ripped out of my sockets.
Chasing Daylight - Yes the concept of admin being supportive is definitely one that should be looked into in more depth. I know of the horrific admin stories and I am lucky thus far ... next year is new admin though. I feel I should be scared. And thanks!!
Oh dear lord - this is what I dread most next year.
I don't know that I would've ripped up the test - rather, I think I would've sent a note home to the parent, letting him/her know what their child did and the consequence (staying in from recess or what have you) and opening the door for dialogue there.
Although, I haven't had several consecutive months with my first and second graders ALL ON MY OWN yet, so I might feel differently after that.
But I agree that it's important to get them into a routine with expectations so they're not taken totally by surprise in the upper grades.
When I was in teachers college I would never have dreamed that I'd do it too. But I did. Beware the dark force within you when you've had it up to here (place hand high above your head and then jump).
Good thing you stuck to your guns and you should thank your lucky stars you have an administrator who was on your side. That doesn't happen everywhere.
I'm glad things worked out okay. Now, go have a drink and forget about it.
Thanks IMC! I'll have a drink for you as well!
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